


Absolution

by calaidi



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5863825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calaidi/pseuds/calaidi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka Ibuki Kouji gets a crash course in being a reformed villain from Suzugamori Ren. Because if there's anyone who gets what Ibuki's been through and how hard it is to start over, it's Ren. (And Kai, and Leon, and...) Set just after Neon Messiah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

**[ ??? ]**  
_still in town?_  
_meet me on top of the foo fighter building._  
_friday at sunset._  
_this is ren btw_

 **[ Ibuki Kouji ]**  
_How did you get my number?_

 **[ ??? ]**  
_kai  
friday at sunset!_ (*＾▽＾)b

Of course it had been Kai. Ibuki had half a mind to find Kai and personally delete his number from his phone. He'd been reluctant enough to give it to Kai (or anyone) in the first place, and clearly, he'd been right to feel that way if Kai was just going to give it out to anyone who asked.

 _Why_ Suzugamori Ren had asked for it, Ibuki could only imagine. Perhaps he wanted some kind of revenge rematch or something else just as tedious. It wasn't as though they had much to say to each other. Ibuki doubted whether it would be worth it to humor him even a little.

And yet, that Friday evening, Ibuki found himself in an elevator with Shinjou Tetsu. He couldn't even explain to himself why he had decided to come in the end. Curiosity, he supposed. Or boredom.

The elevator came to a halt with a bright _ding!_ and the doors slid open. Shinjou gestured for him to follow as he walked out into the cavernous room on the other side. Ibuki glanced around as he trailed after Shinjou, but the room was so dark that the only thing he could tell about it was that Suzugamori wasn't there.

"Ren is waiting for you outside," Shinjou said as he came to a stop.

Ibuki frowned over at him. "Outside?"

Shinjou said nothing else but pointed at a stop on the floor several years ahead of them. Ibuki stared at him a few seconds more before he walked forward, scanning the floor for something that might tell him where he was supposed to go. He finally came to a stop inside a very faint circle etched into the floor, which seemed to be where Shinjou had been pointing, and he frowned down at it. If Suzugamori was waiting for him outside, why hadn't he just been led straight there?

Then Shinjou snapped his fingers and answered the question. Ibuki staggered a step as the floor beneath him groaned and suddenly began to rise up toward the ceiling, while part of the ceiling itself began to retract away to reveal the rich colors of the sky above. Ibuki snorted softly and crossed his arms as the floor carried him steadily upward. He had been wondering if Suzugamori had actually _meant_ "on top of the Foo Fighter building".

Sure enough, as soon as his head was above the level of the roof, he could see Suzugamori waiting for him there. This time, with his white school uniform and hair tied back, he presented a far more intimidating picture than the last time they had met face to face.

"So you came after all," Suzugamori said, almost too softly to be heard over the grinding of the lift as it came even with the rest of the roof. Then Suzugamori laughed lightly and smiled at him like a child, utterly ruining his intimidating image. "And what a scary face! Are you that unhappy to be here? I wouldn't have come after you if you hadn't shown up, you know."

"What do you want?" Ibuki asked, scowling even more.

"You haven't guessed yet? Even after I went through all that trouble of setting the stage..." Suzugamori sighed dramatically at the clouds, but when he looked back at Ibuki, it was with the quiet determination he would expect from a world class cardfighter.

"Ibuki Kouji, fight me."

It was exactly what he'd guessed, Ibuki thought with some annoyance, as well as some other emotion that spiked through his gut. He finally had to bite his lip and turn away so Suzugamori would see how hard it was for him to breath all of a sudden.

"So I was right. All you want is revenge. I'm not interested playing along."

"Revenge?" Suzugamori hummed softly as if he actually had to think about it. "I suppose. I won't deny that I'm still angry with you. My units are more important to me than you could imagine, and watching them disappear like that..."

One of Ibuki's hands closed in a fist. He probably _could_ imagine it. He wasn't blind; he'd seen the look on Suzugamori's face after their fight. And he would have felt the same way, once.

"Well," Suzugamori continued brightly, "Aichi-kun took care of that. No, that isn't it."

"Then what?" Ibuki snapped. If it wasn't revenge, then it was to make sure he wasn't still a threat, and he didn't want to have to humor that either.

Suzugamori shrugged, a wide gesture that used both his hands. "Aichi-kun told me about what happened at the Messiah Scramble. About what our visions meant and the role you were playing. You never visited _me_ in a dream," he added suddenly, pouting at Ibuki. But then it was gone, replaced by a gentle smile Ibuki didn't understand. "There's something I want to see. I couldn't be there to see it, so I'd like to see it here. That's all."

Ibuki stared at him for what had to be a full minute, but he couldn't make any more sense of that than he had initially. It was all over the place—well, he was sure it made some sort of sense to Suzugamori. But all he could make of it was...that Suzugamori wanted to see for himself that Ibuki wasn't still a threat, probably.

Ibuki gritted his teeth and turned away from him again, scanning the rooftop for a door that would lead back down into the building. That suspicion was no more than he deserved, and if Suzugamori actually did secretly want revenge, that was no more than he deserved wither.

But he didn't want to have to prove himself this way. He wasn't even sure he _could_. Could he prove something he wasn't even sure he believed himself yet? The sins had had committed were far too great to simply be forgiven or forgotten, and no matter what he had said to Sendou or Kai or the faith they had shown in him, he wouldn't trust himself around Vanguard for quite some time.

"You'll never begin to forgive yourself if you run away from Vanguard."

Suzugamori had come so close to what he'd been thinking that Ibuki couldn't help but flinch, and he had to bite his tongue to keep his immediate retort of _"I don't deserve to be forgiven"_ silent and to himself. Instead, he turned one his heel to glare at Suzugamori, who stood there staring so seriously at him that he could have been a different person.

"What would you know about it?"

"I've been where you are," Suzugamori said quietly. When Ibuki just stared at him, he smiled very slightly and went on. "I have. I don't like to talk about it, but I'll tell you about it, if you like. If you fight me."

It was hard not to believe him when he looked like that, Ibuki thought, even though it was something that seemed impossible. He very much doubted that Suzugamori had ever been lied to and manipulated by an alien hell bent on using him to end the world. But Suzugamori could have said his hair was blue in that tone of voice and Ibuki would have wanted to believe it.

"Fine," Ibuki said finally. "I hope you've improved."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out his deck. Suzugamori immediately gaped at it, and he spent so long staring while Ibuki shuffled his cards that he wondered if they were going to fight after all.

But eventually, Suzugamori snapped his fingers to send a couple of fight tables spinning into place around them and quickly went about shuffling his own deck.

"That was worth seeing," he murmured as he set his deck down, still smiling fondly at Ibuki's deck for some reason.

Ibuki frowned down at his deck as he placed in on the field. Suzugamori's reaction to his previous deck had been similarly odd, as if he could tell what it contained just by glancing at it. He had certainly approached that fight with more caution—and hostility—than he was displaying here. Ibuki had a feeling that if he inquired about it, though, Suzugamori would just change the subject.

Ibuki turned his attention to the fight instead.

"Stand up the Vanguard!"

"Stand up the Vanguard!"

"You say 'the' too!" Suzugamori exclaimed before either of them could say anything else. "Did Kai get that from you? He told me you taught him how to play."

"I—yes," Ibuki said. Had Suzugamori not noticed that the first time they had fought? "I suppose he did. Neon Messiah."

"Judgebau Revenger." Suzugamori stood back and looked over the unit floating behind Ibuki with a sly smile. "Neon Messiah...I've been looking forward to seeing what you'll do with that."

Ibuki let out a light breath through his nose and drew his first card. To be so eager, even after being beaten so badly and having everything taken away from him...

"Then I won't keep you waiting. Ride, Asleep Messiah. Neon Messiah moves back—"

After a few turns, Ibuki found that he had to reassess his opinion of Suzugamori, his deck, and their first fight. He had been cautious then, but only in his composure. His play had been reckless compared to this, and Ibuki wondered if that hadn't contributed to his defeat as much as the Deletors' overwhelming strength had. The way his attitude had shifted once he'd seen the Deletor deck, the way he'd hissed out _"Link Joker..."_ and his play afterward—Ibuki could see now that Suzugamori had been keen on finishing that fight as quickly as possible.

But so had Ibuki, and any experience Suzugamori might have had in fighting other factions of Link Joker couldn't have prepared him for fighting the Deletors in particular. It had been an overwhelming victory.

It didn't seem as though Suzugamori had changed his deck much since then, but his play was infinitely more balanced and delicate today. It felt like Suzugamori was keen on drawing this fight out for as long as he could. This time, he was at least able to make it to grade three.

"—Ride, Revenger, Phantom Blaster Abyss!" Suzugamori finished, and the black dragon reared to life behind him. "And call."

Suzugamori moved his hand back over to his Vanguard and paused, his fingers just touching the surface. He wasn't looking at Ibuki any longer, and he was smiling again, if the bitter way his mouth had twisted could be called a smile.

"This brings back memories," Suzugamori murmured, as though he was only repeating something he had heard once, and then fell silent.

He didn't seem to be done, however, so Ibuki remained silent as well and waited.

"There was a time when I was willing to do anything for power," Suzugamori said quietly. "Not for something noble like saving a dying nation, or even to destroy something I was taught to hate. Just because I wanted it. I felt like I _needed_ it. I wanted to be strong enough to lead my team to the podium at Nationals, and I was desperate to show Kai that I was worthy of fighting by his side."

Suzugamori chuckled and glanced up at him. "It's always Kai, isn't it? His spirit burns so brightly that no matter where he goes, someone is bound to be caught up in it..."

Ibuki shifted uncomfortably, and after a moment, he nodded in agreement. Yes, that was a feeling he could understand. Despite having only known Kai for a short time, he had been caught up in that light long enough to be devastated when it had gone. It was that same light he had wanted so fiercely to destroy just for existing without him.

"I desired strength so desperately that I got my wish," Suzugamori continued, closing his eyes with a wistful smile. "One day, I could hear the voices of the cards. I had the power to stand equal to Kai—no, to surpass him, along with everyone else. All I had to do was listen to my units, and I would never lose another fight."

_The voices of the cards...._

Ibuki staggered back as though Oksizz himself had appeared behind his opponent.

Suzugamori opened his eyes, smirked, and finally spread his hand out over his Vanguard. "Seek the mate, Blaster Dark Revenger Abyss! Legion!"

As the black knight appeared at his side and Suzugamori briefly turned to smile at it, Ibuki couldn't help but think of his earlier words. _"My units are more important to me than you could imagine,"_ Suzugamori had said, and they certainly would be if he could actually talk to them.

"The power to hear the voices of the cards..." Ibuki repeated, and he reached up to touch his forehead. He had thought it had merely been Oksizz's power that had allowed them to communicate, but if someone else had that ability...

"It's called Psyqualia," Suzugamori said, turning back to him. "It's supposed to allow us to help Cray, I think. Takuto wasn't very clear about that, but that seemed to be the idea."

" _Us?_ "

"Mmm, there are a few of us," Suzugamori said, absently waving his cards about. "You've met them. But I wanted to get to you first."

Ibuki slowly shook his head. That wasn't what he was wondering, and it wasn't even much of an answer as it was.

"Is that what..." ibuki began, but he couldn't finish the though.

Thankfully, it didn't seem like he would have to. The considering look Suzugamori gave him said well enough that he understood what Ibuki was wondering.

Then Suzugamori shifted, and Ibuki felt a sudden awareness of _something_ emanating from his direction. Something that reminded him of the way Sendou Aichi had felt at times. When he had fought Sendou, that feeling had only fueled his desire to destroy him, but Suzugamori was different. This feeling drew forth a desire to simply be drawn into its shadow, or else to crush Suzugamori into submission and take it for himself.

For a moment, Ibuki would have sworn Suzugamori's eyes were brighter than before, as if they were catching the light even as his eyelids slid lower in his contemplation. Ibuki very nearly took a step forward right into the fight table.

And then it was gone. He staggered backward instead, feeling somewhat disgusted with himself.

"I don't know~!" Suzugamori declared, sweeping his arms about in a theatrical shrug. "I think Link Joker might play by different rules. Kai doesn't have it, and that's never stopped him. But even if you did," he added, dropping his arms, "would you use it?"

Psyqualia...the power to hear the voices of the cards...to never lose, not because of his own strength but rather because of something else telling him how to play...

Ibuki stared back at him silently. He had no doubt that they both knew the answer to that question. Suzugamori had been surprisingly perceptive so far. Of course, they could both play that game.

"Why don't you?" Ibuki asked.

Obviously, he still had it, or some remnant of it, but other than that brief burst of power a few seconds ago, Ibuki had seen no sign of it. It might have actually given him a fighting chance during their first fight, and if it was supposed to help Cray in some manner, that was all the more reason to have used it then.

Suzugamori blinked at him, and then he sniffed lightly and turned up his nose. "I don't need that kind of power. Besides," he went on, smiling bitterly down at his deck, "all power has a price, doesn't it? It changes you. And I like the way I am without it much better than the way I was. I like the way you are now better too, Ibuki-kun. Macart attacks Duskblade."

"No guard."

Ibuki placed the card on his drop zone and stared at it for a moment. An answer that was simple but roundabout; that seemed to be Suzugamori's usual way of doing things. But it told Ibuki enough. For Suzugamori to be comparing his past self to the way Ibuki had been under Oksizz's spell...that power must have changed him quite a lot, and not for the better. What could Suzugamori have done under the thrall of that power? He could only imagine, and he doubted Suzugamori would be forthcoming if he asked, but he could see why Suzugamori rejected it and why his voice was so strained when he spoke of it.

And he could see something else too. Ibuki scowled across the field as he placed his guards for Suzugamori's next attack.

"You haven't forgiven yourself yet," Ibuki said. All this talk about having been where Ibuki was and needing Vanguard to begin on a path of forgiveness, and Suzugamori was still standing right at the beginning of it.

Suzugamori smiled and glanced off to the side. "You don't miss anything, do you? No wonder you're such a strong fighter. Phantom Blaster Abyss's Legion skill—"

Suzugamori made his final two attacks without any more chatter, and Ibuki rode through them without pushing him to say more either, but by the time he was done with his turn, it seemed he had figured out what else he might say to that.

"Kai and Aichi-kun forgive me," Suzugamori said as Ibuki place the last of the damage he'd received on the field. "And so do the others I hurt. That's enough for me. I'm sure Kai and Aichi-kun haven't completely forgiven themselves either, even though I do. That's just the way we are."

Ibuki paused in drawing his next card to stare at him. He couldn't possibly be implying what it sounded like he was implying.

Suzugamori laughed softly. "That's right. You should ask them what sins they've committed sometime. Oh, and Leon, too. Aichi-kun was never so bad, and Leon had a noble cause, at least, but Kai..." If someone could smirk in a wistful way, Suzugamori was doing it. "You should definitely talk to Kai. The two of you have more in common than you might think."

He shrugged and hugged his arms across his chest. "We've all done some things we can't forgive ourselves for. Not completely. But I understand them, and I can forgive them for what they did. I know they're better people than their mistakes, and I know they're always trying to make up for them. And I think that as long as we all keep moving forward and we all believe in the best of each other, that's enough for now." He smiled and shrugged his shoulders again. "Don't you think, Ibuki-kun?"

Ibuki didn't answer. That was a lot to take in all at once, and he was still reeling over the idea that he wasn't as alone as he'd thought, that there were at least four other people who might have an inkling of understand of how he was feeling. That one of them really was the absentminded, childish fighter standing in front of them. That one of them was _Kai_...

"Release the Generation Zone," Ibuki said instead as he place a card down, and Suzugamori immediately perked up. "Stride Generation. Genesis Dragon, Judgement Messiah."

Suzugamori crooned with interested as Alter Ego transformed with a burst of light into his new unit. "Stride Generation..." Suzugamori repeated as he stared up at the new dragon as if it was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen. "You really are full of surprises, aren't you, Ibuki-kun?"

Ibuki just smirked slightly across the field and went on with his turn. And for a little while, announcing their moves was the only form of communication between them. Here, Ibuki could clearly see Suzugamori's past experience with Link Joker, as he was able to last through that turn and Ibuki's skills didn't seem to faze him—although Ibuki wondered how much those skills had fazed him even the first time he'd encountered them. It didn't seem like anything fazed Suzugamori for long.

Anything...except his own experience with this Psyqualia he disliked so much. But he seemed to have even achieved something like peace with that too, for all that relying on his friends to forgive him when he couldn't forgive himself counted as peace. The more he thought about it, the more Ibuki felt that he wouldn't be satisfied with something like that, but...maybe Suzugamori was right in that it could be a start.

If nothing else, the idea that he might have others trusting in him to do the right thing from now on would certainly push him to _actually_ do the right thing, if only so he wouldn't let them down. He had felt that way when Sendou had entrusted him with the Messiah card, but not quite as keenly as he did now that he knew that Sendou had some demons of his own.

By the time he made it through Suzugamori's next turn and started his own, he had relaxed and might have even said he was starting to have fun. And despite being completely overwhelmed at last, Suzugamori was still smiling and having fun himself as he drew his last damage points.

"Amnesty Messiah..." Suzugamori murmured as he exchanged one of his damage for a heal trigger. Then he laughed and gave Ibuki his brightest, most child-like smile yet and said, "You shouldn't worry so much, Ibuki-kun. Cray itself has already forgiven you and wants you to move forward. You and Kai really are alike..."

Ibuki blinked at him, and then back at the dragon glowing brightly behind him. After looking through the deck that had formed around Neon Messiah, he had thought that perhaps Cray had wanted to ensure that he walked a path that protected it from now on, to make up for his mistake. He hadn't considered that there might be an element of forgiveness to it as well—after all, he had hurt Cray the most, so how could it ever forgive him? He never would have thought that this unit's name might be for him...

"And," Suzugamori said as he placed his last point of damage on the field, "I forgive you too."

He smiled serenely when Ibuki stared at him and began gathering his cards as their units faded away. "I don't sense anything malicious about you now. But more importantly, those units glow for you. They're happy to be with you. And as long as they like you, I know you'll be doing your best, for the sake of the world and for Vanguard. Right?"

Ibuki slowly shook his head, though not from any sort of denial, and stared down at the cards on his field. Of course, he couldn't see anything glowing, but he was slightly more inclined to take Suzugamori at his word than he might have been an hour ago. He didn't exactly need to see what Suzugamori was seeing, though. He could feel for himself that this deck suited him far more than any other he'd ever used.

He just hadn't thought of it as his units being happy to be with him, that Cray might have already forgiven him that much. Ibuki carefully picked up Amnesty Messiah and brushed his fingers over its name. If anything, that only made him feel more determined to do right by Vanguard from now on, to show them that their trust wasn't misplaced. He still wasn't sure that he trusted himself, or how he was supposed to move on after what he'd done, but Suzugamori had been right. He wasn't going to find those answers outside of Vanguard.

A pair of hands closed around his own, and he looked up to find Suzugamori standing right in front of him. The smile on his face was small and gentle, but his eyes seemed almost to stare straight through him, right into his mind and soul, in a way that reminded him of Sendou more than ever. He had hated having those eyes staring at him, but now it was impossible to look away.

He opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to answer Suzugamori's question, but shut it again without saying anything. How was he supposed to put anything he was feeling into words? And even if he managed it, did he really need to? As Suzugamori had said, he'd been where Ibuki was right now. He probably knew everything Ibuki could have said better than he did himself.

He wasn't _alone_. Ibuki shut his eyes for a moment as that revelation washed over him again. Even if he never wanted to talk about any of this or to any of them ever again, just knowing that someone else genuinely and personally understood how he felt really did make a difference.

"Thank you," Ibuki murmured at last, because that was the only thing he could say that could encompass his feelings right now.

Suzugamori smiled brightly and nodded in satisfaction. For the first time all evening, Ibuki actually felt like smiling as well.

~*~*~*~*~

It was only a couple days later that Ibuki woke to find that someone had slipped an envelope under the door of his apartment. It had only his name on one side and a wax seal stamped with the Foo Fighter logo on the other. Ibuki marveled for a moment that it had _only_ been slipped under his door and that he hadn't woken to find Suzugamori himself waiting for him, and then carefully slit open the envelope.

Inside was a single piece of cardstock, stamped with an official invitation to join Foo Fighter. Ibuki quickly scanned over what little information was included in the invitation with a small shake of his head and absently turned it over just to see if that was all.

And there, scrawled across the back in purple ink, was the note from Suzugamori he'd been expecting as soon as he picked up the envelope.

_If you come to Foo Fighter, you'll never have to worry about how strong you are. Everyone here will see that strength as something to strive for and to learn from. You'll grow tired of fighting long before anyone is tired of fighting with you. Also, there's still an open spot on AL4 that will be waiting for you if you want it. You've earned it, and Kai won't commit to it permanently._

_Even if you don't accept the invitation, please accept my invitation to visit whenever you want. I'd like to fight you again sometime, Ibuki-kun!_

And beneath that was a list of names and phone numbers. Ibuki slowly ran his fingers over the list. Suzugamori, Sendou Aichi, Souryuu Leon, and Christopher Lo. Only Kai's was missing, he thought, because of course he already had it.

He couldn't read through the note more than once. The reminder of his past weakness that Oksizz had so successfully exploited twisted his gut more than enough the first time. And he wasn't sure he would ever put those numbers in his phone or accept the invitation to join Foo Fighter, even for a short time.

But that didn't matter nearly as much as knowing he _could_ if he wanted. Here was one possible future, stretching out before him where before he could see nothing, and where there was one, there could be more than one. It wouldn't be easy, and he had no idea what any of the others might look like, but he could keep moving forward.

After a moment, he decided to pull out his phone and at least put in Sendou and Suzugamori's numbers, and then fired off a quick text to Kai asking to meet up later. Suzugamori had said that he and Kai were the most alike, so maybe it was time he found out just how much and how Kai saw his own future.


End file.
